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The Murphy's Law Awards

© 2016 - present by Leon of Leon's Planet dot com

What is Murphy's Law?

Murphy's Law comes in various different texts and expressions, but this is how I heard it:

If anything can go wrong, it will.

Wikipedia has a nice article on the history of Murphy's Law.  It was named after a scientist named Edward Murphy, but he did NOT coin the law.  Apparently, the concept of "Murphy's Law" has been around for a long time, and it is almost impossible to trace the first usage/coinage of the law.

It has been associated with the second law of thermodynamics, which states the law of entropy, essentially that systems tend to break down (i.e., energy dissipates) when left unattended.  The problem with Murphy's Law is that it's not true (an therefore, it's not a law).  It's actually a misnomer, and quite often used as an excuse by people when something doesn't quite go as planned.  The actual truth of the matter is that there is an infinite number things that could possibly go wrong at any given time, and certainly all of those possibilities do not become reality.  If ALL possibilities for something to go wrong were actually realized in all scenarios, we wouldn't be able to survive as a species (and probably all life would be extinguished).  A more appropriate "law" would go like this:

The more possibilities that exist for something to go wrong, the more likely it is for something to go wrong.

The fact of the matter is that humans beat the odds every day, and we survive quite well despite all the possibilities that exist for something to go wrong.  The tricks to countering the law (as I have stated it) are:

(1)  Think positively, and...

(2)  Do proper and timely maintenance! (to prevent entropy).

Even then, something can go wrong when dealing with humans, because humans are prone to err.  Dennis the Menace is a prime example of that.  And, occasionally,  there are humans with bad intentions involved, who do bad things.

But, if you look at the statistics, more things go right than go wrong, so be happy about that!

What are the Murphy's Law Awards?

The Murphy's Law Awards are a take-off of the Darwin Awards, which in an attempt at humor and/or entertainment give nominal awards to those who've by their own stupidity have removed themselves from the gene-pool, either by dying or making their reproductive organs ineffectual.

Therefore, in like manner, The Murphy's Law Awards, attempt at humor and/or entertainment by giving nominal awards to those who've by shear bad luck proven Murphy's Law "true" (to one extent or another).

Darwin Awards => for stupidity

Murphy's Law Awards => for shear bad luck (not stupidity)

When considering whether or not to submit an account, please keep the following things in mind;  the account must meet the following criteria:

(1)  Veracity

The account of the event must be a true event, and recounted with as much accuracy as possible.  Video submissions are of course the most veracious, but written accounts will also be accepted, so long as they can be verified; i.e., first-hand accounts will be accepted.  Second-hand accounts have to be verified by the person to whom the bad luck occurred.  Etc.

(2)  Extremely Bad Luck

The candidate for the Murphy's Law Award must have incurred extreme  bad luck.  Unlike, the Darwin Awards, which focus on stupidity, the Murphy's Law Award focuses upon chance; like..."What are the chances of that happening?"  The chances must be quite slim, and the luck must be quite bad.  The person may have been removed from the gene-pool, but not by stupidity, rather by extremely bad luck.  So, that means that survivors of the event may also qualify for the award; one's does not have to die to get the award, just be extremely unlucky.

(3)  Physical and Mental Maturity

As this is for entertainment purposes, the deaths of children (under the age of 18) shall be disqualified, as that is NOT funny in my book.  Please do not submit accounts of children's deaths.

Along similar lines, accounts of children being seriously injured or maimed for life may be disqualified at any time by the owner of this website.  That's just not funny.

Now, accounts of children incurring extreme bad luck, without dying AND without incurring serious injury will be judged on a case-by-case basis, for their entertainment value.

(4) Judging

Leon's Planet reserves the ultimate the right to judge the accounts for fulfilling the criteria above, even if polls may be used.

Video submissions will be accepted.  Leon's own submissions will be judged by viewers (not by himself).

 

Submissions

Date Submissions for the Murphy's Law Awards  (contact to submit) Poll
2016 SAMPLE SUBMISSION:   "Barrel of Tools"

The following story is apocryphal.  It might be based upon a true story.  It has been circulating the internet on websites and in e-mails.  I put it here as a sample of what would be a winner of the Murphy's Law Awards, if only it could be verified.  I understand that stupidity was involved in the following account, but who hasn't done anything mildly stupid in their life?  I prefer to think of it as a lack of forethought, rather than stupidity.

This man was in an accident (work accident, not car accident), so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was fortunately attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope . . .

Possible origins of the story (may be based upon a true story).

 
MLA Barrel of Tools
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2016
Jan. 6
Title:  "See-Saw Squats"

This is what happened to me today.

So, I was in a Chinese restaurant, and after dinner I had to take a dump.  I went to the restroom, where there was one of those squatter toilets.


Ever since I got my pot-belly, it's been hard for me to squat without falling backwards,  because it takes great effort to pull my weight forward on the balls of my feet as I'm squatting, straddling over the squatter with my belly in the way.  But, I really had to go; So, I pulled my pants down and squatted, straddling the squatter.

Then, I began to push out one of the biggest, longest logs ever to exit my body.  I swear every muscle in my body was working (except the anal sphincter, of course).  Many muscles were engaged trying to keep my weight forward, so that I didn't fall backwards into the toilet bowl, while all other muscles were helping to get that monstrous thing out of me!

After what seemed like really long time, I could feel that my anal sphincter was about ready to pinch the loaf, and I was so relieved that I completely forgot about the laws of physics.  As the loaf of poo dropped, a great weight exited my backside, creating an unbalance in the distribution of overall weight being delicately balanced on the fulcrum of the balls of my feet.

Yep!  I fell forward!

It all happened so fast, that what happened next is just a blur; but best I can piece together is that I reacted to my face rapidly approaching the floor in front of me by pushing with my hands.  Apparently I pushed to hard.

Still being balanced on the balls of my feet, my body, like a see-saw, went the opposite direction.  Not having anything to stop me, my bottom fell into the squatter and landed on the loaf that I had just pinched out.

30 minutes later, after cleaning myself off, I came out and Titus was asleep.  He didn't ask, and I didn't have the heart to tell him why it took so long.  He had no idea what had just happened and no clue until he got on the back of the motorbike behind me, and we took off.  I could hear him in the back yelling, "Oh, my....!  What is that smell?!!!"

Submitted by:  Leon of Leon's Planet dot com

 
MLA See Saw Squats
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2015
Jan.
Title:  "The Booger Bomb"

It was a normal day, like any other.  I was doing my thing, as usual, when I could feel an urge to sniff some extra mucous from my nose.....something I had done thousands of times before without any problems.

Well, apparently, there was a huge booger in my right nostril that I was unaware of.  When I sniffed really hard, the booger became dislodged, quickly went up the right nasal passage, and then down into my throat.  My guess is that it was traveling close to the speed of sound.  It was going so fast that it completely bypassed the esophagus and went directly into my trachea, immediately triggering the cough reflex.

Uncontrollably I coughed and successfully dislodged the booger which came up and out of my trachea at the same speed that it had gone in, striking the uvula in the back of my throat triggering the gag reflex.

Before I even knew what had just happened I was throwing up. One second I was sniffing, and the next second I was throwing up.  At first I was like, "What the.....?"

After my body regained its composure, my brain began to process what had just transpired.

Submitted by:  Leon of Leon's Planet dot com

 
MLA Booger Bomb
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How to submit a story

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(be sure to include your email so I can verify the account)

 

 

 

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"Love is all there is;  Everything else is entropy." (Leon)

Love gives you energy and healing. (Leon)